As the sun just kisses the horizon, bursting into a flood of crimson, I cannot help but remember my lips on yours and everything that stemmed from it. An eruption of the highest emotions I had ever felt took charge of my life for years and left me scarred, bruised, battered, loved, admired and deeply affected.
But these reminiscent thoughts only last so long, as your hand brushes against mine, passing in front of the image in my mind’s eye. I had forgotten that we were sitting next to each other on that grassy hill, staring over empty green land at the expanse of the world beyond, the sun still dipping lower and lower. Time doesn’t stop or slow down, you see, no matter how profound the moments.
We make the most of our time, you and me, sitting there, waiting. For all of time’s consistency, if ever there was a moment when time froze, it was then. Silence thickening. Weight shifting. Eyes glancing.
Then, it happens. The silence and tension culminate in a cacophony of noiselessness that is simply unbearable. We slowly, painstakingly turn towards each other. It is hard to look, both knowing what we want but for some reason feeling guilty about it. Fate would keep us apart and its force holds us back, holds our faces from the other, pushing eyes to the ground. But what links us means infinitely more than that.
In a moment of triumph over the impossibilities of destiny, our eyes break from the oppression of indefinable forces and meet. Time may continuously melt away but it doesn’t matter; this is the only thing that matters. In an instant of understanding that no words can ever define nor actions ever give true meaning to, yet minds can always identify, we gravitate towards each other.
Separation is just as unbearable as fate’s suppression of who we are. Our faces blot out the sun as we draw closer and closer. All that is in my view are your eyes, those eyes. My mind wanders again, sprinting on into infinity and never reaching an end, as I glance into those eyes that are just as indefinite as an instance of pure comprehension. In that space of time that could sit on the tip of a pin, I feel everything, the weight of love and hate, sorrow and joy, peace and foreboding. Everything you made me feel, will ever make me feel, enters my body and courses through my veins like a drug.
Alas, reality rips me back as precious contact is made, skin upon skin. It is not a holy palmer’s kiss but a real one, one that captures everything my soul felt on the edge of a pin. You cannot call it lust but you may call it love. Though, words lose all meaning or fall short at moments when profundity rules the second. At that instant though, words are irrelevant, everything is irrelevant. Some may call it apathy but I call it enlightenment.
Our lips part and it is as if all exteriors are ripped away from me so that I sit bare and naked before you. There is no instant of realization like Adam and Eve where my nudity or yours is anything of lust, or embarrassment. It is an understanding in its purest form. We bring to this meeting everything that has happened in our lives, a culmination of our collective existence. What has happened makes us who we are. We lay it bare.
When everything is in the open, when paradoxes are clear, when contradictions mean everything, whether the sun rises or sets becomes utterly irrelevant. Everything is beautiful and nothing matters but you. The universe destructs around us. Forests burn, nations crumble, oceans evaporate, and suns die. It is an ending of all things, but you and me. The insanity that the collapse of space and time brings is almost as unbearable as fate itself. If we were to exist in this moment, continuously, for forever, whatever that means, I would lose myself to it.
As our eyes meet again and Fate’s hands pull us away, I see everything I felt, where my soul could tread and where it refuses to end up. That existence is so tempting. It could define a man and break him. The force of Love is the most powerful substance that inhabits our universe and perhaps beyond it. It courses through me and through you. Every time we meet, it reacts, it explodes, it destroys the universe around us and leaves us in each other’s arms, bare and naked, with nothing but souls, with every moment of our lives revealed.
You have given me the most beautiful thing, freedom from the confines of this universe and for that I will forever owe you everything I am and ever will be. The indebtedness is not terrible, but it could also drive a man insane.
Fate has pulled us apart. We sit in tension again. Eyes glues to the ground. Silence grips everything. Silence is all that we have left. And as we both glance in unison at the horizon, we realize as one that the sun is gone and only the moon and the stars stare back at us.
amazing.
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