I don't know if you recall

I don't know if you recall

Me on one knee

Or the way I looked looking up,

And I can't say for certain

What I looked like either -

I am, after all, me, the same

Man that was down on one knee,

Seeing out these same eyes,

Stumbling out this same mouth,

And clinging to your same hand

Like a begging, vulnerable child.

Distant now, yes, probably just a

Memory, but

I am still him, so much

The same joy that illumined

My crooked soul is shining

There now, right now

Writing, and desperately, like

The struggling poor, the

Men on knees yearning for God,

I'm clawing through words

Just to save you, say to you,

That I am selfish for loving you.

Berating, yes, even that is

Impossible without life support,

And you are the scaffolding

Of this sinking Venetian villa,

So old with idealism and not

Enough anchor, which leads me

To sink like one.

I was down below you looking up,

Calling up, a regular Romeo

High on an impulse, telling you

"Jump! Just jump! And I swear

We can float,

Give your burdens to me and

I'll hand my sandbags to you

And because they are

No longer our own, they will

Weigh nothing and we will

Float, weightless."

I still believe that. I am

Such the naive soul I was,

No bitterness or anger, confusion,

Yes, but only the kind on

The verge of winter, as it ebbs

Into spring. To let go

Of the cold and just

Live and love, grow.

But beautiful tomorrow's only

Last so long and you're

Gone with the breeze,

With its hands reaching

Out and pulling away before

The sounds are heard and

The little bird you came

Quickly to find is flying

Scared as can be.

So while I wait on

My tentative hope, there

Is never so much the idea

That you're ever coming back,

Where the only thing I possess

Is that you may begin to

Remember my face, my smile,

That day, my lips, my nose,

The way I kneeled before you

In the proud hope that I'd reap

The glories of this self-centered

Desire. There's no unconditional

Here, only holes needing filling,

Drawing from my mind, but

It doesn't ever seem to affect

That I am me. I am certainly

Me. Don't ever forget,

Do you hear me? I bowed

Before you to give myself,

And now I can't remember

Your face, so remember mine.

Yes, I lied; I am bitter.

I probably was then. But now

I have nothing more to say.

Remember my heart,

My body may change, but

I'll be damned

If I'm not burned into your mind.